What happens during an EMDR session?
You booked the appointment. Maybe your hand hovered over the button for a minute first, and honestly, that makes sense. Choosing to face something painful takes courage, and it's only natural to feel nervous when you can't picture what you're walking into. I've sat with many people in that exact spot, so let me take the mystery out of it. In my last post, "What Is EMDR?", I explained what EMDR is. Here, I want to show you what it actually feels like from your seat.
The process of EMDR is structured in 8 phases spread across 6 to 12 sessions. The length of time varies from person to person, so I make it highly personalized to your situation and your level of readiness.
Getting ready (Phases 1 to 3)
Phase 1, History and treatment planning.
The first couple of sessions are relaxed and meant to get to know you and what is bringing you into my office. We go at your pace and never push you to share more than you're ready to.
Phase 2, Preparation.
Here we build on your strengths to learn and practice coping with uncomfortable emotions, using grounding skills and mindfulness, so you have the tools in hand before any hard work begins.
Phase 3, Assessment.
This is where we start to narrow our focus and identify the specific memory, or memories, contributing to your present day struggle. Memories are not stored as images alone, but with thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. We name the negative belief tied to the memory and choose the positive belief you'd rather hold. There is no distress yet, and we are setting the target.
The reprocessing (Phases 4 to 6)
By now you feel like you are getting the hang of coping with big emotions and recognizing the patterns of the past intruding on your present. You and I share a clear understanding of which memories created the pattern. You feel ready to begin reprocessing.
Phase 4, Desensitization.
his is the heart of EMDR, when we desensitize the negative memory using bilateral stimulation in the form of tapping, buzzies, auditory tones, a light bar, or eye movements. You watch the memory like a movie, or simply notice whatever comes up. We follow where your brain leads, because we are only setting the stage for it to do what it knows how to do best. You don't need to describe every detail to process it, and I will pause to check in along the way. You are never alone in the memory, and I will offer guidance whenever you need it.
Phase 5, Installation.
Once a memory is desensitized, your body is no longer activated by it and is freed up to hold something new. We take the positive belief that we chose in the beginning (or a new one that feels right to you) and use BLS to install it, so that it feels true in your body, not just something you tell yourself.
Phase 6, Body scan.
Trauma does not only live in the mind, it lives in the body too, in tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, or a knot in the stomach. In this final step of reprocessing, we check where the memory still shows up physically and use BLS to clear any leftover tension, until your body feels as settled as your mind.
Closing and checking in (Phases 7 to 8)
The hardest part is over. You have faced your fears, and you often feel immense relief. Oftentimes I hear, "wow, I can't believe I can think about this memory and not feel so much." From here, we ease you back to steady ground and make a plan to keep going.
Phase 7, Closure.
Every session ends the same way, by returning you to a calm, stable place before you walk out the door. We never leave a memory pried open. I may suggest "homework" between sessions, like noticing what comes up or jotting it in a journal, so you can bring it back to our next visit.
Phase 8, Reevaluation.
The next session opens here. We check whether the last target still feels settled before moving on, making sure the relief holds and deciding together where to focus next.
What it might feel like afterward
Everyone is different. Some people leave feeling lighter and clearer right away, while others feel tired or a little tender for a couple days as the brain keeps processing in the background. All of this is normal, and it is part of the healing.
Ready to take the first step?
The process is structured, safe, and something we do together. The unknown really is the scariest part, and now you know what to expect. If you're curious whether EMDR is right for you, schedule a free 15 minute consultation call with me and we'll figure it out together. I'd be glad to walk that path with you.
References
Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
EMDR International Association. (2019, September 5). Introduction to EMDR therapy [Video]. https://www.emdria.org/resource/introduction-to-emdr-therapy/
This article is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care.
